As the writer Caitlin Moran recently observed, we frequently discuss the downsides of being a woman but not the difficulties men face. We asked male readers to tell us the downsides of being a man in Often we hide in the bathroom, not to go on our phones but to take a minute and let our guard down. A rugby team who put a guard up for 80 minutes tire out quite quickly.
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What's difficult about leadership is that nobody ever sits you down and "teaches" you what being a real leader is all about. There's no class in early education that defines leadership. Peers in group projects tend to label leaders as "overachievers" and not in a good way. In college, leadership is reduced to who is going to talk the most during a presentation. And even on sports teams, the leaders are usually the best players--and wear a letter on their jerseys as a trophy of their accomplishments. But that's not what being a leader is all about.
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What makes a man a man? What is a man beyond the purely biological in the first place? Hundreds of years ago, this question was easily answered. Masculinity was defined by the cultural paradigm in which you found yourself.
Yes, there is a lot of history between you, but do the bad times outweigh the good? You find comfort in the familiar. You know what makes each other tick and how to co-exist. Waiting for a relationship to get better is like standing in the dessert waiting for the rain. It could happen, but the chances are pretty slim.