W hen I told my four year-old twin boys that Daddy had died, their response threw me. Nick, my husband, their father, had been ill with cancer for a year but despite his rapid and very visible physical deterioration in recent weeks, the boys had no inkling of what was to happen. As I imparted the life-shattering news, they stared at me for a few seconds before asking hopefully, "Can we go and watch telly now …? The moment still haunts me four years on, not least because it was the first of many that taught me how differently children grieve from the way that adults do.
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On My Fifteenth Birthday
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You do not do, you do not do Any more, black shoe In which I have lived like a foot For thirty years, poor and white, Barely daring to breathe or Achoo. Daddy, I have had to kill you. And a head in the freakish Atlantic Where it pours bean green over blue In the waters off beautiful Nauset.
I am from England, as is my daughter. Other than some minor subtleties, both parents sit at the head table with the bride and groom, and the father of the bride makes a speech. The speech is meant to be lighthearted, funny and of course truthful.